Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Not that I need you

There is something that my heart may feel,
Something, that mind is afraid to reveal,
Is it someone seeing though me, that makes me squeal,
I may be down, but then not that I need you.

Once, I lied for seconds and slept for hours,
Worked to death, aimed for the stars,
Today, the dreams are empty and my soul jars,
Will someone hold me, but then not that I need you.

I see not the pain of the poor; I see not the king’s coronation,
I see not the meaning; I see not the intention,
I see not the way; I see not the destination,
Will someone show the way, but then not that I need you.

I died in her arms, but before, I died in her mind,
She showed me the love, but it was me who was blind,
Never spoke my mind, my tongue was tied,
Today, I know not who to speak to, but then not that I need you.

Have got all the matter, but lost all that mattered,
Stood upright, showed fight, when spirits were battered,
Showed Courage, showed care, yet was left shattered,
Sometimes my heart asks why? Was it “Not that I need you”?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A Life Less Ordinary

They say “good is the enemy of the great”, when u have quotes like that, ordinary seems outright unacceptable. Then what is it that you do, if after a point in time, everything seems ordinary. Any job loses its challenge and sheen, once the learning curve starts to taper down.

But then that is ordinary, and how does one get away from ordinariness of life, and even worse the ordeal of ordinariness, day after day, weeks together, months together, and with the threat of becoming years together.

In spite of the discontent there is some security in inertia. Some security of it shall not get worse. But the truth is it often gets worse, but the pace of worsening is slow that we often don’t realize. Scientists say that if you put a frog in hot water, is jumps out of it, but if u put a frog in water at room temperature, and start heating the water to boiling point, the frog does not jump out but dies in the water. This happens, because the slow pace of adverse change (though life threatening) is more acceptable, than a sudden change. The frog might have still survived in the hot water, but the change was sudden, so it leapt out of it.

I guess this is what the slow monotone of life does to us. A slow death of the spirit. I refuse to be a frog, I refuse to die a slow death of inaction, a death of inertia. I refuse, I refuse. I know, I shall leap out, before it gets too hot.

I can survive anything, but for successive ordinary days